A CHANGE OF MINDSET: Anne Gauthier & Mickael Cardoso Das Neves
Through a home test right before the implementation of enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) last March 2020, Anne Gauthier and her husband, Mickael Cardoso Das Neves, learnt they were pregnant. But because of the uncertainty of the times, Anne was able to visit her doctor only in the third month of her first trimester. “It was painful not to be able to celebrate and hug people when I found out I was pregnant, or right after giving birth,” she remembers.
The couple’s strong relationship, however, allowed them to lean on each other and work things through together during the pregnancy, labour and birth. “Although I would’ve loved for my close [friends and family] to have been there, [my pregnancy] turned out to be a wonderful experience. My husband and I had to rely on each other even more. With no social or work interruption, we were able to spend a few weeks getting to know our baby girl and bond as a family. Those are moments I will forever cherish.”
Their daughter, Claire Das Neves, is now close to her sixth month. “In 2020, [she] lit up the world of those around her at a time they needed it most,” Anne says.
Her experience was something like out of a mov- ie. “[In my first ultrasound], everyone was in full gear with hazmat suits, face shields and masks. There was a plastic cover separating the doctor and myself.” She also had to go through the birthing process alone, adhering to the strict protocol required. “Closer to the due date, my husband and I had to isolate ourselves from others as well as take swab tests on a regular basis. The rules were very strict,” she recalls. “During labour I couldn’t have anyone by my side except the doctors.”
Difficult as it is, Anne knew the best thing to do was just to accept. This exercise in submission has allowed her to change her outlook: “I learnt that I couldn’t control everything, [and that I had to] take things one step at a time. [I learnt to] appreciate the small things. I also discovered a strength I didn’t know I had and now I have even more respect and admiration for all mums out there.”
As a first-time mum, Anne admits that the first few weeks with Claire were “demanding”. She also felt somewhat isolated. “Reaching out to family and friends was very helpful,” she shares. “We [participated in] Zoom calls and small gatherings. In a way due to the physical distance, those very close to us went out of their way to show their love even more.” Now, the new mum is more than inspired, crediting it to the “strong mum community” in the Philippines. “[The pandemic] has allowed us to be more mindful of each other,” she shares. “[It’s important] to check in [with your loved ones] from time to time.”