Man’s journey through life is marked by twists and turns, highs and lows, bumps and smooth rides. How he responds and reacts to each situation contributes to the evolution of his character so much so that, at the end of the day, man can be measured by the lessons he has learnt in life. Philippine Tatler has chosen eight exemplary men and women whose lives have been enriched by the experiences and challenges they have encountered in their journey. 

David Bradley 

American media mogul David Bradley maintains his strong connection to the Philippines that began in his younger years when he spent some time here as a Fulbright scholar. The owner of Atlantic Media, publisher The Atlantic and National Journal, also founded the Child Protection Unit at the Philippine General Hospital in Manila and was once a professor at the University of the City of Manila. He resides in Washington, DC with his wife Katherine Brittain. They have three children together: Spencer, Carter, and Adam. 

Can a man/woman really have it all?

Speaking only of Americans here, not knowing the answer for Filipinos, I’d say both a man and a woman can have it all, but it’s 10 times easier for the man. 

What gives life meaning?

Life acquires meaning from verbs, not nouns: it’s what you do, not what you have or even who you are. The greatest happiness comes from the fullest expression of your individual, innate, inner-wired gifts. 

What does integrity mean to you? Can you name a few who have integrity?

Integrity is acting on principle, not self-interest. Republican members of Congress who denounced Trump at risk of their own seats might be examples. 

What’s something new you learnt about life? About yourself?

I learnt that life is long, very long. There is a rough justice over time for what we do right and wrong.

What troubles you the most?

Externally, America’s apparent decline in the world. Internally, my uneven talent.

What would you want your legacy to be?

Douglas MacArthur’s, but I understand that’s taken.

At what age did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin?

At 47. It was going to be 16, but then she dropped me.

Are you hopeful about the future?

Yes. Next week, not so much.

What’s the best/worst decision you have ever made?

Best was marriage to Katherine, though, for me, it wasn’t really a tough call. Worst was entering media at age 44 instead of 24. 

What’s the best advice you would give your younger self?

No 51-49 decisions on things that matter.

Bonnae Gokson 

Asia’s style icon and queen of confectionery, Bonnae Gokson lives in a world punctuated by privilege and defined by elegance. She does not keep her world hidden but shares it through the endeavours she chooses to undertake, like her unique, one-of-its-kind cakeshop Ms B’s Cakery, which offers cakes too pretty to eat. One of China’s Top 100 Most Outstanding Women considers the Philippines a second home because of all the friends she has acquired here. She also has a coffeeshop, C’est La B, and one of the top restaraunts/bar in Hong Kong, Sevva. 

Can a man/woman really have it all?

Some people may be very contented and believe that they have it all. They may have their spiritual fulfilment, live simply, or are quite contented in life. It really depends...but I think it’s quite rare that one truly “has it all,” especially in a world like today’s, where personal dreams are sacrificed for professional success. Very successful women who are at the pinnacle of their career may crave to spend time with their family and children, or may find their love life flat and empty. There are countless cases of highly successful men who’ve made a sheer mess of their family lives, or may have health issues. Then there are those women who need not work, who are pampered with plenty of material things, but may not get the attention from their partners or lack true love. So is “having it all” chasing a fairytale dream? I think many people are still looking for that perfect balance. 

What gives life meaning?

True friends and family and earning the respect, love, and support of the people we surround ourselves with. It is about being real, and being able to share and touch the lives of others. To be spiritually grounded is important and gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving.

What does integrity mean to you? Can you name a few who have integrity?

Intergrity is having good ethics, honesty, fairness, and upstandingness in one’s character, choosing over what is fast or easy and courage over comfort, to practice these values. I believe I am one, and definitely my sister, Joyce Ma, and my good friend, Doris Ho.

What’s something new you learnt about life? About yourself?

Life has its rainbows and darkest moments. It is for us to live it to the fullest with grace and dignity, and know that everything does happen for a reason. There’s always something new that I can learn about life and it just doesn’t stop there. I have learnt much that not everyone has had the same opportunities as I’ve been given, or share the same values; this has taught me to be much more compassionate and understanding. I have also learnt that life is so much greater when we expand our horizons, travel, and be surrounded with positive people who are happy and sincere.

At what age did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin?

I feel most at ease and comfortable with myself NOW. I have much freedom to live the life of my dreams. 

What’s the best/worst decision you have ever made?

Best decision is I started my own business and worst decision was that I gave up studying Chinese in high school and took up French instead. It’s a pity as my Mandarin and Chinese are not good at all!

What’s the best advice you would give your younger self?

Have better judgment in choosing the people I surround myself with. Practice on the law of attraction in speech and in thoughts. Be patient and remember gratitude always. 

Kim Atienza 

An avid triathlete and popular face on television, Kim Atienza has developed a huge following mainly because of his authenticity in delivering weather reports, as well as his informative documentaries on animals, a topic he personally likes. Son of a former Manila mayor, he dabbled in politics for a while but has now found a niche in television. He is married to the elegant Felicia Hung, who is Taiwanese by birth and an educator by profession, with whom he has three children.

Can a man/woman really have it all?

When you accept that you can’t have it all, that’s the time you really have it all. I can only be thankful for what God has given—a beautiful wife, three great kids, a fabulous job, fantastic health. Everything else is a bonus! 

What gives life meaning?

Purpose. What did God put me on Earth for?

What does integrity mean to you? Can you name a few who have integrity?

Integrity is what makes a person sleep at night with a smile on his face. My wife Feli and my three kids all have integrity. 

What’s something new you learnt about life? About yourself?

I had to get sick twice to learn it. My stroke in 2010 made me physically born again; I discovered endurance sports and triathlon. My bout with Guillain-Barré syndrome in 2013 made me spiritually born again. The motto of Ironman is “I can.” I used to tell myself this every time I competed. That morning in the ICU, when my hands and feet were paralysed, I realised that I can’t. Only God can. “God can” is my new mantra.

What troubles you the most?

Am I spending enough time with my kids? I am a stickler for balance and have always believed that I’ve balanced work and family. But have I really? 

What would you want your legacy to be?

I want people to glorify God and be blessed when they know my life. I want them to say “God has been so good!” and not Kim is good.

At what age did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin?

Marrying Felicia in 2002 gave me lots of confidence. What the heck did she see in me? I must be good, and got to believe I was. 

Are you hopeful about the future?

I’m a perpetual optimist. Of course I am.

What’s the best/worst decision you have ever made?

The best was leaving politics and getting into television. The worst was getting a gastroscopy without anaesthesia for my TV show Matanglawin and swimming one kilometre of the Pasig River to show viewers how dirty it was. But even my bad decisions turned out to be good because I learnt from them, thus making me the man I am now. 

What’s the best advice you would give your younger self?

Kim, don’t try too hard. You are A-ok. I love you buddy! [Then I pat myself on the back.] 

Ces Drilon 

A multi-awarded and well-respected broadcast journalist, Ces Oreña-Drilon became the news herself when she and her TV crew were kidnapped by the bandit group Abu Sayyaf in 2008. Recovering from the ordeal, she maintains her lead in the industry and is recognised as one of the stars of the network ABS-CBN Broadcasting Corporation in the news and public affairs division. 

Can a man/woman really have it all?

In my book, what really matters is happiness and peace, the company of family and friends, a partner in life with whom you can discover and share the delights [and sometimes the disappointments] in life with, and a home that is a sanctuary. If you look at what is really essential in life and strip away all else, then yes, a man or a woman can have it all. 

What gives life meaning?

The constant search for inner happiness and the ability to live in the moment; my independence and freedom to pursue my interests; seeing the happiness in the people I love; and inspiring others in a quiet way.

What does integrity mean to you? Can you name a few who have integrity?

Integrity is having the courage of one’s convictions, having an inner code of principles that will keep one from being swayed by temptation, an armour to keep you from being corrupted and dishonest. I can name Ombudsman Conchita Carpio-Morales and also my father.

What’s something you learnt about life? What’s something you learnt about yourself?

I learnt that not getting what you thought you aspired for is actually a blessing.

What troubles you the most?

I am troubled by what is happening in the country: the mounting deaths, bloodthirsty people in power, seeming insensitivity of the populace to what is happening.

At what age did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin?

After I hit 50, and after many successes and setbacks, I became more confident in myself and certainly more forgiving of myself. 

Are you hopeful about the future?

Yes, I never lose hope. Even during the darkest days of my captivity by the Abu Sayyaf, I never lost hope.

What’s the best/worst decision you have ever made?

The decision to go to Sulu to interview the leader of the Abu Sayyaf was the worst because it put me and my news team in harm’s way; it is also the best because from it I got the best lessons in my life.

What’s the best advice you would give your younger self?

You can never please everyone. 

Maja Olivares-Co 

She takes what she knows beyond design, her chosen field. In her advocacies, for instance, Maja Olivares-Co marries art and design with community projects. In her passion for music, this jazz aficionado produces uniquely-themed concerts like the Tokyo Manila Jazz and Arts Festival and, very recently, Pop Meets Big Band Jazz to celebrate American Express’ 100 years in the Philippines. She has been in the design profession for over 20 years and has grown the client base of her mum’s company, Sonia Santiago Olivares and Associates, where she is now the executive vice-president, to the who’s who in corporate retail, business and banking, food and restaurants. Her talent has not gone unrecognised: she has reaped design awards from the Philippine Retailers Association, and the International Illuminating Design Award from the International Engineering Society of North America—quite a feat for this banker’s wife and mother to two teenage boys. 

Can a man/woman really have it all?

One must first find a personal definition for the word “ALL.” Life is full of compromises. It is, therefore, a question of setting priorities and finding a balance. So yes, you can have it all.

What gives life meaning?

I don’t think life has any set meaning. It’s up to us to interpret the signs we’re given and discover our own purpose, and you know you’ve found it when you look forward to waking up each day with a sense of being and purpose. I’m just so grateful to be alive and kicking. 

What does integrity mean to you? Can you name a few who have integrity?

Integrity is living your truth regardless of the situation. Whether it be in our personal or professional lives, we must always be consistent in our values: fairness, honesty, respect.

What’s something new you learnt about life? About yourself?

That the “creative thinking” process we learnt in design school is an amazing tool that can be applied not only in solving design problems but in finding solutions to life’s challenges. I have discovered this in the journey of life and the constant reinvention of myself. 

What troubles you the most?

The large inequality of wealth that is so prevalent in the world. The fact that so few have so much, and so many have so little. Hunger, anger, and unhappiness push people to do bad things. It can only make the world more unsafe.

What would you want your legacy to be?

It’s always been a work in progress.

At what age did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin?

After graduating in New York, I worked at Naomi Leff, a New York design firm. We had our first kick-off meeting for Ralph Lauren’s Beverly Hills Flagship Store. We were all asked to dress in Ralph Lauren for the meeting, but the only Ralph Lauren clothes I owned were shorts, polo shirts, and sneakers. So I went as my usual self and wore my very best Yohji Yamamoto. In a roomful of 20 blondes and brunettes who looked fresh off a Ralph Lauren ad, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was a new member of the team and Ralph Lauren noticed me. He then complimented my hair and even guessed who designed my jacket. It only affirmed I had to be ME. 

Are you hopeful about the future?

Always! Faith in God and humanity! What’s the best/worst decision you have ever made: Moving back to Manila and leaving a wonderful job in New York due to my father’s death. I felt I needed to be with my mother in the family firm. I was not very happy in the first two years, but now, I couldn’t be happier being here with my husband, children, and mum. What was seemingly the worst decision of my life turned out to be the best.

What’s the best advice you would give your younger self?

None. My younger self continues to thrive in this slightly older body. I’m grateful for health and energy as this helps keep the mind and, more importantly, the spirit alive. 

Angelica Berrie 

The death of her husband, New Jersey sales entrepreneur Russ Berrie, strengthened Angelica Urra of Bacolod in ways she probably never imagined. She took the helm of Russ Berrie Co, a global gift company known for its bears and RUSS trolls and embarked on her own business ventures with Kate’s Paperie and Global Nomad. She also discovered her strength in philanthropy via the Russell Berrie Foundation, even co-authoring a book on the subject with Peter Klein. Her life’s journey has been an inspiration to those who have been fortunate enough to listen to her share it in public forums. 

Can a man/woman really have it all?

An accident this year crystallised what “having it all” really means. I emerged from that experience fully cognizant that my “glass” is very full!

What gives life meaning?

Living an inspired life imbues everything we do with meaning. The philosopher, Abraham Joshua Heschel, said, “Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement, to get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted because everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible!”

What does integrity mean to you? Can you name a few who have integrity?

Integrity is having the courage to live life according to your values, listening to the innermost message of the heart, and living it fully and courageously. One of my heroes is Nipun Mehta, who started a movement called “giftivism,” that involves spreading random acts of kindness to fellow human beings. 

What’s something new you learnt about life? About yourself ?

I have always planned ahead for everything, trying to anticipate and prepare and control what might happen next. After I had this accident, I dis covered the beauty of waiting for things to slowly unfold, without trying to manoeuvre and manipulate, choreograph, or direct!

What troubles you the most?

The plight of 65 million refugees, a generational crisis on a magnitude of historic proportions. The soulless response of the world at a moment when compassion and empathy require us to act is a sin against humanity! 

At what age did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin?

When I turned 40, I felt like I was my own person, able to express who I was without worrying about offending anyone! What a relief to be able to just say “no!” without making excuses!

What’s the best advice you would give your younger self?

I would impart the Dalai Lama’s wisdom; to “be compassionate to yourself ” because at the end of the day, what matters most is: “How well did you love? How well did you live? How well did you learn to let go?” 

Joey Cuisia 

A respected figure in business, finance, and public service, Jose Cuisia Jnr recently opted for retirement, ending his term as the Philippine ambassador to the United States. Like many retirees however, he will surely find himself busier especially with his knowledge and experience. This twice magna cum laude, one for BS Commerce and another for AB Social Sciences, from De la Salle University and MBA holder from The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania served as Central Bank governor and received numerous awards, including the Management Man of the Year (2007, MAP) and the Order of Sikatuna (former President Benigno Aquino, 2016). He has five children and three grandchildren.

Can a man/woman really have it all?

No matter how much wealth, power, influence, or fame one may have, no man or woman can really have it all unless he or she attains eternal happiness—which is the ultimate end of man.

What gives life meaning?

Life can only have meaning when one has a clear purpose for living on this earth. For me, life becomes meaningful when I am able to make a favourable impact on the lives of less fortunate people. 

What does integrity mean to you? Can you name a few who have integrity?

It means having a good moral character, being honest and truthful, living according to one’s righteous principles, and practicing fairness at all times. I could name former Foreign Affairs Secretary Albert Del Rosario, former Ambassador Ramon V Del Rosario Snr, and Washington Sycip. 

What is something new you learnt about life? About yourself?

Although material progress is an aspect of human life, it is not the purpose of human existence and alone has never satisfied the human spirit. I discovered how much I enjoyed Broadway musicals and am now looking forward to watching more of these.

What troubles you the most?

The high incidence of poverty in our country and the widening gap between the rich and poor people.  

What would you want your legacy to be?

I would like to be remembered for forming the: Filipino-American Young Leaders Programme with my wife, Vicky, to prepare outstanding young Fil-Ams become future leaders in the US; Philippine Humanitarian Coalition of 27 Filipino-American organisations in the Metro Washington area that assisted victims of supertyphoon Haiyan; US-Philippines Society to raise the profile of the Philippines in the US.

At what age did you finally feel comfortable in your own skin?

At 23, I had already made up my mind that I would prepare myself to be an investment banker.

Are you hopeful about the future?

Yes. The Philippines is no longer the “sick man of Asia,” thanks to President Benigno Aquino III and his economic managers. I am likewise hopeful that the Duterte administration will fully implement its 10-point economic agenda over the next six years.

What is the best/worst decision you have ever made?

The best was when I was Central Bank Governor in the early ’90s and, with other members of the Monetary Board, decided on the partial lifting of foreign exchange controls, resulting in significant increase in foreign direct investments in the following years. The worst was also when I was CB Governor, with my choice to focus on my career rather than on my family—I regretted this long after I had left the bank.

What is the best advice you would give to your younger self?

Not to take life too seriously and to “stop to smell the roses.”

Doris Ho

She is a woman in a man’s world, being the president and CEO of her family’s flagship company, Magsaysay Maritime Corporation, and chairwoman of Lorenzo Shipping Corporation. Doris Ho, however, keeps her world well-balanced. She immerses herself in the arts through chairmanships in artistic projects and foundations, stays in the centre of business and society circles, as well as takes the lead in many philanthropic pursuits. She is the daughter of the late shipping tycoon Robert Ho and the late celebrated artist Anita Magsaysay.

Can a man/woman really have it all? What gives life meaning?

In 1991, a great Indian teacher, Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, told me that we already have everything we are looking for inside of us because ultimately, every human being searches for inner contentment. However, to stay stable in the calmness and abundance of our hearts is very difficult because our minds trick us with negativities to believe otherwise; so we must keep our minds quiet, listen to what God has planned as our purpose in this world. 

Every morning I feel enthusiastic to charge on with whatever is in front of me, to do it as well as I can, with a deliberate effort to add value to humanity. My Guru calls this, living a “dharmic life.” The dharma of a tree is to give shade. It is not a duty without free choice; it is an expression of one’s purpose fully manifested with great magnificence. St Francis also serves as my inspiration…to be an instrument of God’s peace.

What does integrity mean to you? Can you name a few who have integrity?

I have always admired my sister Linda for her great conviction in her beliefs and being able to express them frankly and transparently. This clarity in knowing where you stand, in being able to face a situation or a person from a clear understanding of your own bottom line, to me, is a great form of integrity.

What’s something new you learnt about life? About yourself? What troubles you the most? Are you hopeful about the future?

These past months have made me realise how ignorant I have been about the complexities of our broken society. The status quo is no longer an option and we must delve deeply into change needed to make life at all levels more equitable for everyone. Here, we have two standards: one for those who have means, another for those who don’t. I call this the “dirty kitchen” syndrome. We must all support the government to regain its mission of protecting public interest and to be empowered to meticulously create and enforce policies and regulations around clear principles of fairness and inclusiveness for all.

What’s the best/worst decision you have ever made?

What would you want your legacy to be? What’s the best advice you would give your younger self ? No regrets, but the big question at my deathbed would not be whether I was successful in life but whether I was a good mother. I worked all my life and missed many important moments while my three children—Alexandra, Jesse, and Patrick—were growing up. How to achieve balance between one’s own personal pursuits and motherhood is really the great challenge.